Your Personal Inheritance

The word “inheritance” can mean so many different things. Most initially think about money, or material possessions after their parent(s) or close relatives die and pass their belongings along. However, it can also mean what religious, political, and socioeconomic status you belong to and believe in throughout your entire life. And as the ol’ saying goes, “We are what we are born into.”

But what about individualism?

When you think about where you were born and the beliefs your parents or guardians raised you with, more than likely, you grew up living with those same traits. A child born in say, India more than likely will be Hindu or Buddhist; one in America, Christian, Catholic, or Jewish; the Middle East, Muslim. And political views, it usually comes down to the parents or grandparents beliefs which are ingrained in our minds from birth. Racial and socioeconomic issues, most go along with whatever the members of their particular ethnic groups embrace.

But, as we grow older, some begin questioning their beliefs. Are they really right for me? Do I truly think this way? Am I simply a product of my family’s origins and am therefore willing to just go along with whatever they think is best? Am I comfortable voting, behaving, working, even marrying this way?

In some cultures and ethnic groups you are highly criticized, if not chastised for wondering away from their mainstream ideas and viewpoints. It’s simply not done. You could loose the approval of your family, be disowned, disavowed, even prevented from making a living by word-of-mouth. No wonder the masses usually stick with the history of their people. But again, what about individualism?

I’ve always regarded myself as an individualistic person. I grew up in a Baptist Church; however I normally go to a nondenominational one today. The occupations I’ve worked in have been very different from those of my relatives. My political views, I’m a Republican as is my immediate family although I have relatives who are Democratic. For me, I believe in what I see as right, wrong, or up for debate. My viewpoints and other things don’t necessarily come from my inheritance, they come from what my eyes watch and heart feels is best for me.

Opening yourself up to the world and experiencing things you aren’t familiar with can be intriguing and educational. It helps bring your life full circle, exposing you to diverse people, cultures, and other systems of choice. But realistically, many never stray to far from the farm, so to speak.

Most who know me personally see me as fairly conservative with my lifestyle choices and political/religious views. After all, I’m a white male who was born and raised in Texas. I grew up being around Grandparents who were farmers, parents that worked in professional fields, and other relatives who worked hard during the week, raised families, and went to a Christian church every Sunday. Conservatism was always surrounding me and that was okay. But, as I grew older I saw the need to branch out, take a look around, and see what else is out there.

In years past, I’ve attended church services representing all the major faiths. During the past few political elections I watched and listened to all the major media outlets promoting both liberal and conservative points of view. I now own music CD’s which play everything from opera to heavy metal. I was really afraid of heights while young, yet later became a Pilot and would jump at going into outer space. I never used to read, now I’m soon to be a published author.

It’s amazing what can happen when you seek out, listen, watch and are open to learning from others.

Thanks for listening…

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If George Clooney Can Stay Single, So Can You

This is the second of a series of articles I’m doing for the top-rated relationship website: datingadvice.com.

You’re an attractive, fun-loving guy and crave your freedom. You’ve been this way all your life. During your adulthood you’ve dated literally dozens of women, attended many bachelor parties, witnessed lots of teary-eyed weddings, been called upon to be a best man, even hooked up with several bridesmaids during and after the ceremonies. You’ve felt the emotions behind the whole courtship/marriage thing and endured the same ole’ question over and over, “So, how about you?” You think about it, smile, and politely give a rehearsed answer such as, “still looking for Mrs. Right.” You love, and adore the beauty of women and are always open to meeting new ones. Marriage, you’ve always heard, is the road to golden happiness. Yet, for whatever reason, month after month, year after year your ring finger remains permanently bare.

But honestly, you like it that way…

To read the rest of this article, and others, go to DatingAdvice.com. It’s an all-inclusive dating resource site whose experts dispense wisdom on ‘all things dating’ through how-to-articles, informational studies, reviews of dating sites, reader questions and more!”

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Has She Lost That Lovin’ Feeling?

We’ve all been there. You were engaged in a relationship which started off great.The chemistry was electric from the first glance, the dates were long and ending too soon and the phone calls and texts were flying constantly with, “I miss you. I love you. Thinking about you!”

You begin believing she could be “The One,” until those little gut-wrenching voices start telling you there’s definitely something missing.

Breaking up is hard to do.

It really is after you’ve spent months, even years, investing your time, not to mention money, on chasing that ever-elusive dream of relationship bliss.

You don’t want it to end, thinking you should give it another month or two before calling it quits.

As a man, you hate failure and you loathe crawling back into the exhaustive grind of sorting through the endless sea of faces in the dating world.

And it’s never easy looking for and getting to know someone all over again and starting from scratch.

However, sometimes it’s better to cut your losses rather than continue down an unsuccessful road. After all, time is a very precious commodity when it comes to love…

To read the rest of this article, and others, go to “DatingAdvice.com. It’s an all-inclusive dating resource site whose experts dispense wisdom on ‘all things dating’ through how-to-articles, informational studies, reviews of dating sites, reader questions and more!”

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100 Essential Sites for Voracious Readers

Recently, I was contacted by this wonderful organization about including me in their program. It’s a website which includes dozens of helpful resources for anyone interested in reading, publishing, marketing their work, even getting help with acquiring a degree in English! Take a moment and browse through their information, it’s well worth it!

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Love Advice. Who’s Qualified?

Eyes meet; two bodies and their souls come together. The sparks fly, the clouds part, food tastes better, the fragrance of flowers sweeter, you start walking around in a daze 24/7, everything’s finally making sense and your life has new meaning like never before until…

When things go wrong, or even well, in the arena of love lots of people go looking for advice. They seek out friends, family, psychiatrist’s, astrologers, those grey-haired couples who’ve been married for most of their lives, even their local bartender or barber gets an unwilling ear full of questions and solicitation of how best to proceed. Sometimes, I think the existence of alcohol and drugs were placed on this earth to deal with the ups-and-downs of romance. But, we all need, sometimes, someone to advise us which direction in the fork-in-the-road to take hoping among hopes they show us the way. And when cupid’s arrow strikes your heart, there’s perhaps nothing more powerful, or destructive, than dealing with love.

I’m perhaps the last person on earth who’s qualified to give love advice. I’m fifty now, single, but not without the ability to love the correct person. And trying to find a healthy balance, a right balance, the ability to merge two lifestyles, wants, and desires together has always been challenging even though I’ve been called, “the smartest guy alive” on more than one occasion by my numerous divorced friends. LOL. I believe in love, but only if the two involved are really meant to be. Some get lucky and find it early in their lives. For others, the highway to love is long and ever-winding.

So, who do you consider best qualified to give those golden words of wisdom when your heart’s either glowing or bleeding? Who can help lead you to that promised land of rosy fulfillment, happiness, grand kids, even great grandkids, and fiftieth-wedding-anniversary-celebrations?

Right now, there are many bloggers, radio and TV personalities, authors, and so-called relationship DR’s willing and ready to serve up their own versions of love advice. We’ve all read and heard them on the airwaves and internet highways, all thinking their words and influence is all that you will ever need. Ever watched, The Millionaire Matchmaker, the old Oprah Winfrey Show, or The Housewives of Wherever? How about, The Bachelor? These shows are hosted and filled with people who’ve never been married, have been married multiple times along with tons of failed relationships and are still alone, or are always in the middle of some personal dramas at home, love-related. Yet, they always seem to have the golden answers while their personal lives aren’t exactly following most’ idea of successful relationships. Perhaps, what they have works for them because everyone’s individual translation of love is different. But, my version of love success has always been about dedication, mutual respect, honesty, and a chemistry which lasts through time. It’s all about being there for each other, or never causing harm even when the bad times come and go–A hard, and sometimes elusive existence to catch, I know. But, it does happen, when two share a committed willingness to make things work, or engage in a peaceful departure when they don’t.

The past few years, I’ve learned to follow and study the ways of the successful, both on a personal and professional level. I didn’t used to do this, but it’s definitely made a difference in my life. My experience as an author for example; I enjoy reading what drives successful writers: their work habits, what gives them inspiration when needed, and who do they turn to when advice and encouragement is wanted. The same goes for love. I look at those couples who’ve had long-lasting love and how they’ve managed to stay that way. What drives their desires to stay together, what makes them stay true, what keeps that certain spark aflame, and what lets them know daily that they’re with the one.

Our modern society has changed the definition of relationships as to what is normal. It all goes along with the so-called liberal movement, experimentation, and alternative lifestyles. The success rate among couples is deteriorating and becoming less and less traditional. For some, it works, but for most, it’s a revolving door of constantly moving on to the next chapter. I, for one, prefer to learn from those who’ve made it work decade after decade from years past–those with great grand kids and still holding hands during daily walks in the park. Most have stated the same answers over and over: commitment and the realization that there love is true. And for me, those who walk the walk on the jagged roadway of love and success are the ones to learn from, to gain advice from, while watching rather than asking.

Thanks for listening…

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The Gift of Selflessness

I recently read a news article about a young man working at a Seattle Walmart, an immigrant from Ghana, who voluntarily returned an envelope containing $20,000 in cash to an elderly couple while helping to carry shopping bags to their car. Apparently, the envelope with the money fell out of a purse. He noticed it, quickly ran after the owners, and returned the funds while refusing to take a finders fee. And as it turned out, the money was to be used for purchasing a home the couple had been saving for. He later received an accommodation for the good deed, and is now being rewarded for his actions by being promoted and enjoying some well-deserved attention for his exceptional behavior. He’s a wonderful example of how being selfless can pay big dividends on an emotional level, and is a great role model to us all.

You can read the story here: article

I love hearing about good deeds. It lets me know there are still plenty of good, honest people who truly have other’s best interests at heart. They don’t reach out to help looking for payback, rather, simply do it because it’s the right thing to do and they receive lots of happiness for it.

One of the best ways to feel good is to help another individual. It can be anything from holding a door open for someone else entering a building, assisting someone elderly across the street, letting a car merge over along a highway, or returning another’s hard-earned money they would’ve never realized they’d lost til it was too late. And when I read the above-mentioned article, I think about how much heartache and pain this couple would’ve faced if it weren’t for a simple act of selfless kindness.

I haven’t always been this way, but I’ve realized that looking for instances where I can help others has made me a much happier person. And guess what? It’s rarely ever cost me a dime. Some recent examples have been helping a neighbor carry a few boxes on moving day, giving a divorced friend who’s carrying the financial strain of raising two children a coupon for a free oil change, nominating another friend’s charity to participate in a local restaurant chains give-back program for a percentage of each food item sold, and giving a meager $20 to a family needing gas and going nowhere until I sat and realized their hardship was real. As I gave, my heart received, and it always continues being a wonderful feeling.

I’m not Catholic, but I’ve started following the actions of newly-elected Pope Francis. He’s a very simple man. A humble man. One who, even after his rise among the church to Archbishop, Cardinal, and now, Pope prefers to live in a simple apartment, refuses chauffeured limousines, and enjoys cooking his own meals. Although, for non other than security reasons, will most likely need to succumb to the trappings of being the leader of the billion-plus-member Catholic Church. All throughout his career, he’s been a servant to the poor, even washing the feet of AIDS patients and going against aged protocols by randomly blessing people in crowds as he walks by. He genuinely seems to be a selfless man and on the night he was elected Pope, asked the waiting crowd in St. Peter’s Square to, “pray for him” before doing the customary blessing-of-the-crowd; a simple request quickly letting the world know that he’s their servant, rather than the other way around. He even chose the name, Francis, for his Papal title which is named after, St. Francis of Assisi: an admirer of nature and servant to the poor. Again, I’m not Catholic, but most anyone can admire such a true believer of the ways of Jesus.

Pope Francis’ mentality represents selflessness perfectly. He’s one who believes that one of our basic roles as human beings is to help each other. It’s a way of life that’s easy to live, will make you a better person, and cause you to take notice and understand the needs of those less fortunate.

Whether it’s someone as famous as, The Pope, or one who will never see any attention for their good deeds, I fully appreciate those who show regard and care for those in need. After all, all we really have, regardless of social or economic value, is each other.

Thanks for listening…

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Easter Wonders

The day that Jesus arose after being nailed to a wooden cross, crucified til death, and giving the world a promise of everlasting life is the most significant worldly event to ever happen. It’s what gives believer’s hope, reasons to not fear death, and a peace inside that says, “yes” there is another life after this one comes to an end. It’s an inner peace which millions carry with them, knowing that when their day of crossover finally happens there will be an outstretched hand immediately grasping theirs, welcoming them to the streets of gold.

I love the sights and sounds of Christmas. It, of course, represents the birth of Christ. It’s probably my favorite holiday of the year. But Easter, it represents what happened on that hill so long ago which made Jesus so special. He was sacrificed by God so that all could be saved, no matter who you are. Jesus didn’t die so that certain groups or races of people could walk into heaven. Rather, he hung on that cross, shed his blood, and carried with him inside the message that “anyone who believed in him would have everlasting life.” Jesus was the light, and the way to the father. And I, for one, am looking forward to meeting him when my time finally arrives.

When Jesus walked this earth, he wanted nothing more than to bring people together, share common goals, be prosperous and at peace and to spread the word of God. He was met with harsh resistance, but kept on traveling the landscape attempting to fulfill the mission his father laid out before him. He knew that his death would be imminent, yet he also knew his seat would be waiting at the right hand of his father after it was said and done. Unfortunately, because his human presence was so long ago, many have turned away, or forgotten all together the promises that he made. Jesus knew this would happen, and the world would eventually steer toward the devil. But the test for all believers is life itself, and the enduring strength of your individual faith.

Our society is rapidly traveling away from the teachings of Jesus. One only need listen to the news and basic television programming to see what people deem is important, which way their thought processes are taking them, and among what lifestyles they’re gravitating toward. Politicians of all parties are governing against the ways of God to keep their jobs, to vote with what’s currently popular, instead of what Jesus had intended. Much of our youth is growing up without having the benefits of parents who believe. But all people should take comfort knowing that Jesus is always watching, waiting, and guiding those who keep their faith, are open to his words, and do their best to represent him while waiting on his return.

I grew up in a Christian home and was taught the bible from an early age. It makes me who I am, and I make no apologies for my beliefs. However, I’m a sinner, and one who is far from the perfection of Jesus. Sometimes, I’ve strayed from what I consider to be Christian. But, here’s the thing. I’ve noticed that the closer I try and follow his ways, the better my life becomes. It’s like he’s always waiting on me to show him my faith so he can reward. And what’s so amazing is he always rewards, no matter my sins of the past. All he wants is my faith, and to live the best life that I can, close to him.

It’s Easter week, a time for believers everywhere to unite and celebrate the great promise. It would be easy to let these days come and pass by without much thought. But remembering what happened so long ago on that grassy hillside should cause the weakest and strongest believers to pause, and look forward to the continuation of the greatest story ever told.

Happy Easter

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Show, Don’t Tell

The title above contains some of the most valuable words in the English language, and in the world of creative writing, they’re probably the most effective ones an author will ever use.

To an unknown writer like myself, I was virtually lost while attempting to craft my first manuscript. I had a story and characters in mind, scenery where dramatic action and conversations would happen, along with various feelings, sensations, passions, and other crazy emotions I wanted the reader to experience. In my mind, I knew what the story would look like, say, on television or up on the silver screen. It had already played out before me after lots of time and thought. I wanted to tell the tale, and so I began. What happened over the next few months, and years, was like getting a PhD in learning to make the reader feel and believe the words I was creating.

I began typing one evening, not knowing if what I was creating would turn to mush or literary gold. The words came, the pages started turning, and the story began taking shape. First fifty pages, then a hundred. Then, months later, over four hundred before I felt as though I’d finished my dreamed-up storyline. I didn’t really know what to do next, so I drove to the local book store and purchased a popular book on getting published. As I skimmed the chapters the same advice kept coming across: never ever submit anything to anyone in the literary community unless your work is polished, finished, and well-edited by a professional editor. And not just any editor either, a developmental editor, one who does far more than crossing the T’s and doting the I’s. One who’s capable of taking the naked bones of a story and help craft, shape, mold, and sculpt it into all it can be. One who isn’t afraid to express criticism, point out flaws, and draw through whole pages of non-relevant text with a fierce, bright-red pen. And in my case, one who’s willing to teach a beginner the elusive concepts of great storytelling. My editor showed me that giving a book a shot at getting published involved lots of pain, work, and determination. That it wasn’t easy. That it was going to require plenty of patience on my part for the reader to actually see and imagine what I did while writing the story.

The books we all buy, read, and love weren’t created by just one person, they rarely ever are. Rather, most are produced by both, authors and their editors. It’s always a collaborative effort, hopefully drawing out the best from more than one creative mind.

Much has been written about the Author/Editor relationship. I’ve read that many can be temperamental, combative, argumentative, and confrontational. After all, when creativity is the name of the game, many believe that their way is the best way, or the desolate highway. Most editors are writers themselves, and many writers think their words are gospel, and not open to interpretation. But for those attempting to go it alone in the super-competitive literary world we live in, electing to self-edit can be a costly mistake.

Speaking from my limited experience, I’ve been lucky, and I couldn’t have finished my first novel without my editor’s talents. When I first handed over the four-hundred-plus-pages, I didn’t know what to expect. All I knew was I wanted to make it the best it could be, and prepare it well for the agents and publishers I was about to query. I’m the type to never do anything halfway when it comes to projects, so having a true professional dissect my work, for better or worse, agreed with my way of thinking.

Initially, my editor took the rough stack of pages and let me know it’d be a while before hearing from her. During the days and weeks afterward, my mind began to wonder; is she laughing while reading my pathetic dribble, is her pen running low on ink correcting the mistakes, is this the worst she’s ever seen, is she going to call and say, “Don’t quit your day job buddy!” while snickering and rolling atop the floor? Thankfully, for my sanity, none of that happened.

After her initial read she wrote and said she could help, that the manuscript was workable, but not without numerous corrections to be made. Then later, it came back. At first, I was amazed at what she found. It wasn’t just basic typos and spelling corrections that were needed. It was a whole range of things including storyline flow, character development, and overall tightening of the text. But the biggest item brought to my attention: Learning to show the story instead of telling the story, and keeping my omnipresent voice out of the equation.

When you think of doing anything in a creative field always imagine the support that’s required. The actor needs his directors, the athlete his coaches, the musician his songwriters, and the writer, his editors. Very few have the talent to go it alone unless your last name is Hemingway, Picasso, Jordan, or Jackson. And even they had someone either sitting in the bleachers or standing behind the scenes giving them needed support.

My Writer/Editor relationship has continued since the beginning, even helping to support me through social media, answering questions, and counseling me when a traditional publisher finally called. I consider her a great friend and mentor, the type every writer needs throughout their career. Personally, I’m looking forward to opening the creative veins and letting the blood flow onto the pages one more time, together.

If you’re an author seeking editorial services, contact Susan Mary Malone @ www.maloneeditorial.com Her expertise has become invaluable to all writers, both aspiring and established.

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The Image of Communication

Learning to write, speak, express, and socialize extremely well are some of the most valuable items a person can conquer. They aren’t easily learned, oftentimes taking lots of time and pain to master, but once properly accomplished, they can benefit both your personal and professional life in so many ways.

Let’s start with writing. Since I began learning the art of creating stories, I’ve been enduring a crash course in grammar, language, punctuation, and dialogue. Anytime I sit down to place together a series of words, I make a repetitive, conscious effort to spell check, re-read, re-examine, and hear out loud the expressions I see. Almost everything I write, including these articles, are probably evaluated several times before hitting the publish button. I’ve become extremely meticulous with what I let others view, knowing full well how competitive the literary community has become. And although, believe me, I still make plenty of mistakes, I’m continually trying to become better in order to give readers the best I can produce. So, do I place the same standards on the e-mails, texts, social media posts, and correspondence I write? Absolutely, mainly because I want to make my practice of writing well an ongoing education.

I remember when I gave the rough draft of, Sons In The Clouds to my editor. I knew that corrections would be needed and a re-write definitely necessary. But, oh my, did it ever come back with a long to-do list. Those 400+ pages looked like they’d been through a war. At first, I was pretty amazed at what a true professional could point out, seeing as though I’d never attempted writing a book to begin with. But, after much time, work, and careful examination, everything made sense: the grammar, word placement on the page, flow of dialect, deleting non-relevant text, ability to say with two words what I would’ve normally said with five or more. In other words, in my mind, the pieces of the literary puzzle slowly started coming together. It all made sense. And that first draft is really where my literary education began. It’s served me well, opening up an entirely new way of seeing the art of communication.

Speaking well with others also requires lots of practice. And even though we all like to kick back at times and let the slang commence, if you’re in a professional field, you just never know who could be listening, therefore judging. It can make the difference between getting that next promotion, contact, business deal, or personal relationship. Everyone wants to be seen in the best light possible, and it all begins with how effectively we deliver our words.

I remember having a relationship with a certain lady years ago. She and I had our ups and downs and I wish her well, but one positive area she always pointed out was my oftentimes, unsharpened verbal communication skills. As examples, often I would say, “She and me,” instead of “She and I” or “I don’t have no,” instead of, “I don’t have any,” or “I haven’t any.” Some simple corrections brought to my attention. Back then, I didn’t think of this as any big deal, but I now realize the value of speaking words correctly therefore improving your image among those around you.

Proper communication, both written and spoken, helps us to appear professional, educated, well-rounded, and seasoned. It makes others take us more seriously, and places us ahead in the super-competitive world we live in.

During my youth, I was a tennis player. And something I was coached on was to always practice with better competitors. The process made sense, because by doing so you could only improve your skills while learning from superior talent. The same can be said for writing, which is why I always read the best. I enjoy studying their different styles and receiving answers as to why they’re at the top of their game. It has helped me tremendously. After all, publishers are more selective than ever, and learning that certain quality they cherish is something every writer should take notice of.

Not many of us will receive an English degree from Harvard, the benefits of a one-on-one writing session with James Patterson or Nicholas Sparks, or some social etiquette lessons with many of New York’s finest, but presenting ourselves in the highest image possible can propel us to wonderful new heights.

Cheers…

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Valentines Day Love

Its Valentine’s Day week, that wonderful time of year when significant others spend a little time expressing, and sharing their common attraction. For many, it’s a time of reflection, a day of sharing that certain chemistry bringing souls together, a period of needed sexual bliss, an occasion where hearts communicate a little bit deeper, and even moments when personalities come together for the very first time.

In the fifty years I’ve been alive, I’ve experienced, desired, wanted, expressed, shared, rejected, and written about love. I’ve wanted to be loved by the wrong people, later realizing God had given me the greatest gift by not letting it happen. Some have wanted my love, only to have me say “no” because I knew they weren’t a good match for my personality, and didn’t give me that certain weak-in-the-knees reaction. There is perhaps nothing between human beings which is more complex, and wanted than the feeling of love. And, I do believe that when true soul mates find each other, nothing on earth can match that crazy, irresistible feeling. It’s something God created ever since Adam and Eve strolled through that glorious garden. It’s an all-consuming, wanted way-of-life when you find that one-in-a-million, diamond-in-the-rough fulfilling your life beyond your wildest dreams.

Valentine’s Day, for many, comes with all sorts of over-the-top expectations. Many everywhere value the gifts they receive as a reflection of their relationships. Get some flowers, “Hmm, okay.” Chocolates, “What else ya got?” Tickets for a nice vacation somewhere, “How wonderful!” A new car, gold Rolex, or house, “Wow, you must really love me!”

I say, gifts are always nice and do make your significant other feel good, but, how about, in addition to the items from the mall, simply sitting down and writing how you feel, better yet, looking them in the eyes and expressing how you feel therefore making them actually experience your love. Take them on a handheld, evening walk like you did when you first started dating. Turn the phone and TV off and share some uninterrupted conversation (so rare today). Go rekindle, and relive those first moments and places which brought you together in the first place. Many things, money simply can’t put a price on. And some of the best things in life, especially when it comes to love, truly are free.

I’m always entertained watching the commercialization of Valentine’s Day on television. We’ve all seen them: those happy, tearful ads showing that four-foot-tall Teddy Bear being thrust into outstretched arms, the endless displays of rose-engulfed flower arrangements, those overstuffed boxes of chocolates and candy-coated strawberries, even new movie releases coincidentally shown on the day of lovers. It’s a big business, Valentine’s Day, one which almost everyone who has a significant other takes part in. I think it’s all great, but should also be placed in proper perspective. After all, material items only last for a short while, eventually losing their charms sometimes only hours later. But love, true love, well that’s something which lasts way beyond the attention of Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day, or the Feast of St. Valentine has been observed for many centuries. It draws, and reunites people together for the purpose of making, celebrating, and experiencing love. It gives many an opportunity to rekindle established love, and to start new. It’s a wonderful day to draw in a deep breath, place aside worldly demands, and take the opportunity to appreciate those in your life who both give, and receive your love.

For all the love out there, Happy Valentine’s Day!

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